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1<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en-US"><meta name="bingbot" content="nocache"/><head><meta charSet="utf-8" data-next-head=""/><meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image" data-next-head=""/><meta name="twitter:site" content="@voxdotcom" data-next-head=""/><meta property="fb:app_id" content="549923288395304" data-next-head=""/><meta property="og:site_name" content="Vox" data-next-head=""/><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1, shrink-to-fit=no" data-next-head=""/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-title" content="Vox" data-next-head=""/><link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Vox" href="/rss/index.xml" data-next-head=""/><link rel="shortcut icon" href="/static-assets/icons/favicon.ico" data-next-head=""/><link rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="180x180" href="/static-assets/icons/apple-touch-icon.png" data-next-head=""/><link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="/static-assets/icons/favicon-32x32.png" data-next-head=""/><link 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1<script type="application/ld+json" data-next-head="">{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"Wait, what are the rules around cellphone etiquette now?","description":"Updating etiquette for the 21st century.","datePublished":"2026-09-27T11:30:00+00:00","dateModified":"2026-09-27T11:30:00+00:00","url":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me/503469/phone-etiquette-headphones-speakerphone-lizzie-emily-post","mainEntityOfPage":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me/503469/phone-etiquette-headphones-speakerphone-lizzie-emily-post","publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Vox","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2024/04/default-og-image.png?quality=90&strip=all&crop=0,0.13712291199202,100,99.725754176016","width":"1200","height":"628"}},"articleSection":"Explain It to Me","keywords":["Explain It to Me","Life","Podcasts","Technology"],"author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Jonquilyn Hill","url":"https://www.vox.com/authors/jonquilyn-hill"}],"isAccessibleForFree":false,"image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2026/09/gettyimages-2268064035.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&crop=0,8.3138808880331,100,83.372238223934","height":"2702","width":"5161"},{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2026/09/gettyimages-2268064035.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&crop=2.9015694632823,0,94.196861073435,100","height":"3241","width":"4861"},{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://platform.vox.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2026/09/gettyimages-2268064035.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&crop=18.601046308855,0,62.79790738229,100","height":"3241","width":"3241"}],"speakable":{"@type":"SpeakableSpecification","xpath":["/html/head/title","/html/head/meta[@name='description']/@content"]},"articleBody":"Recently, while taking the metro to work, I encountered something that shocked me. The train was pulling up, just as the man in front of me tapped to pay to go through the gate, and a woman pushed past me to cut me in line. I still made the train (after I briefly considered acting in a way that would have made us both late for work), but as I passed each stop I got angrier and angrier. Why did she think her commute was more important than someone else’s? We learn to wait our turn when we’re children — why was that lesson lost all these years later?&nbsp;\nI’m not the only one irritated by this kind of thing. Almost half of Americans say that they’ve noticed people are ruder in the wake of the Covid pandemic. Whether it’s poor behavior at the airport or blasting music from your phone with no headphones in public, it’s like people don’t know how to act anymore.&nbsp;\nKirsty Sedgman is a professor at the University of Bristol and the author of the book On Being Unreasonable: Breaking the Rules and Making Things Better. She argues that while people might not mind them as much anymore, manners are important.&nbsp;\n“They encourage us to think about others and to behave in ways that are not antisocial and potentially even dangerous,” she told Vox. “How can we have these conversations so that we figure out what we all want social life and public space to be like in a way that benefits everybody and doesn’t accidentally exclude [anyone]?\nWhile some etiquette rules are pretty self explanatory (let’s not cut in line!), others are more difficult to navigate. “I always try to make a point and I’m not perfect, believe me,” Sedgman said. “I’m not saying that I know how to behave in every single circumstance and I’m always right. I’m no Emily Post.”\nPost was the socialite who literally wrote the book on the subject: Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home was first published in the 1920s. More than a century later, her family is still in the business of teaching us how to mind our manners.\nLizzie Post is Emily Post’s great-great granddaughter and co-president of the Emily Post Institute. That’s a title and pedigree that could come with a lot of pressure. But Post says it’s all about your audience. “A lot of times, as long as I don’t get the sense that they would prefer a very formalized version of me, I try to reassure people: laugh, joke, swear, it’s okay,” Post said.\nAudience isn’t the only thing that’s changed — the times have too. How has etiquette shifted over the years? And how do we navigate newer things — like our phones? We find out that and more on this week’s episode of Explain It to Me, Vox’s weekly call-in podcast.\nBelow is an excerpt of my conversation with Post, edited for length and clarity. You can listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’d like to submit a question, send an email to [email protected] or call 1-800-618-8545.\n[Media: https://open.spotify.com/show/1vSUO6Bg4abtjRF7fnGpT1]\nFor a long time etiquette has just been something that’s agreed upon. You have to have certain manners to socialize in certain circles and within certain classes. But I think that’s changed. Why do you think that’s happened?\nMy great-great-grandmother wrote from 1922 to 1960. While she talked about the standards of the day, she also allowed those standards to change. Think about 1922 to 1960 — there were huge swings in how people behaved. Chaperones were gone from the book by her second edition. Life was changing and evolving and she changed and evolved with it.&nbsp;\nEtiquette is a French word — it sounds fancy. I think that it can very easily have these connotations of being something that is about a secret society, or it’s only about formality, or it’s only for people who are very wealthy. It can also start to feel a lot like judgment.&nbsp;\nOne of the reasons etiquette can feel so out of sorts, particularly right now, is because times are changing and they’re just changing really quickly.&nbsp;\nI think phone etiquette is really, really emblematic of that. One thing that is so common is people playing music or having their phone on speaker, no headphones. Do we just not know how to act when it comes to our phones?&nbsp;\nThere are definitely rules of courtesy and blaring anything out of your phone, whether it’s a phone call, it’s a FaceTime call, it’s your TikTok feed, or that movie that you’re watching, is all inappropriate when other people are a captive audience and haven’t asked to be.&nbsp;\nIt’s this mindful moment where people forget where they are. They’re so used to being in their own world with their phone six inches from their face that they forget that anyone can even hear what it is that they’re doing on their phone at that particular moment.&nbsp;\nIt’s really hard to correct this behavior because generally, we don’t correct other people’s behaviors.\
1nI admit, especially in public spaces, I am Team Mind My Business. But at what point do you step in?\nIt’s a really tough judgment call, and it’s going to be different for every situation.&nbsp;\nI think that when I am in a space that I’m only going to occupy for a short time, I am telling myself, “Mind my own business, don’t worry about it.” When it’s that train ride that we’re starting, or that four-hour flight that you’re on, I think we start to have to say something and to ask, “Hey, could you put some headphones on while you’re enjoying that or watching that or on your call?”&nbsp;\nI say, “Could you,” because they might not have headphones with them, but even if they don’t, it’s a reminder. It’s like that check of awareness that, “Oh, this thing I’m doing is impacting people around me.”\nHere’s the rub: You can’t control other people’s behavior. You cannot control if this person is going to get defensive. If you’re going to ask the question, be prepared for rudeness in return. And I hate saying that, but it is the reality. We can’t control other people’s behavior.\nSo there’s clearly a wrong way to use speakerphone and FaceTime. What’s the right way to use them?&nbsp;\nWe do a lot of talking on our speakerphones, even in our own homes. You might be moving from one room to another, passing through the living room where people are watching TV or you’re in the kitchen and all of a sudden a roommate has come into the room while you’re on a call that’s on speakerphone. You really want to let the person on the other end of the phone know that there’s other people present now.&nbsp;\nMy cousin is so good about this. He always tells his daughter when she gets into the car, “Hey, Aunt Lizzie is on the phone. Say hi to her.” Then I know to watch my language. She knows to say hi to her auntie. And that’s just so much nicer than all of a sudden having a voice pop up and realizing, “Oh my gosh, I was just telling a really personal story and I didn’t realize there was a bigger audience for it.”&nbsp;\nWhat about having your phone on the table you’re at dinner? People feel very passionately about that one.\nI am so bad about this one. I often have mine face down on the table. The funny thing is, I’m not looking for someone to call with an interruption, but it’s not good etiquette.&nbsp;\nIt is really best to have that phone put away, to make sure that it’s on silent and it’s not going to interrupt your time together. To have it there, especially face up where any message that comes in is now going to catch the attention of everyone at the table, that’s an unnecessary distraction.&nbsp;\nIs there an obligation when you need to text someone back? Does it have to be within a certain time? You go about your day and the next thing you know, you look at your phone and you have 80 unread texts and it’s like, “Oh no, what do I do? My friends will all be mad at me.”\nI wish there was, but it depends on the text itself.&nbsp;\nThe ones I don’t think you should wait on is when friends or potential romantic partners offer a time to get together. Don’t let that sit. If there’s a reason why you’re letting it sit, talk to someone about that. Say, “Oh, I’ve got to check with my partner about that. I know we had talked about doing something else Saturday at that time.”&nbsp;\nGive them some kind of an understanding, because it’s a really beautiful thing to be invited to go spend time with someone. I think we want to treasure that a little more than we do in today’s age.","about":[{"@type":"Thing","name":"Explain It to Me","url":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me"}]}</script>
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At Vox, our mission to help you make sense of the world has never been more vital. But we can’t do it on our own.</p></div><div class="pf5rxo7"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup pf5rxoa">We rely on readers like you to fund our journalism. <strong>Will you support our work and become a Vox Member today?</strong></p><a class="duet--cta--button _1x9gc5h1 _1x9gc5h0 pf5rxob" href="https://www.vox.com/support-now?itm_campaign=wikisupportjan2026&amp;itm_medium=site&amp;itm_source=wikibanner"><span>Join now</span></a></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--page-layout--post _10sa9om0 _10sa9omc _10sa9om8 _10sa9om9 _10sa9oma"><main id="content"><div class=""><div class="wf5mq910 wf5mq91 wf5mq90 wf5mq92g"><div class="wf5mq90 wf5mq911" data-concert="tablet_leaderboard"></div></div><div class="wf5mq912 wf5mq91 wf5mq90 wf5mq92i"><div class="wf5mq90 wf5mq913" data-concert="desktop_leaderboard_variable"></div></div><article><div class="duet--article--lede duet--page-layout--standard-article"><div class="duet--ledes--standard-lede rfso0w0 _10sa9om3"><div class="rfso0w1"><div class="olu3ea0"><div class="olu3ea4 olu3ea3"><span class="_8u8x1817"><ul class="_1eglwsbe"><li class=""><a href="/explain-it-to-me" class="_1eglwsb4 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</a></li></ul></span></div><div class=""><h1 class="o6lvcl1 o6lvcl0 o6lvcl6 pn04iqa pn04iq9">Wait, what are the rules around cellphone etiquette now?</h1><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup o6lvclh o6lvclg pn04iqa pn04iq1">We asked an etiquette expert how to use your phone around other people.</p></div></div></div><div class=""><div class="rfso0w3"><div class="_8u8x181 _8u8x180"><div class="_8u8x18a _8u8x189 _8u8x18i"><div class="duet--article--article-byline pn04iqa _1evgffa0"><span class=""><span>by</span> <!-- --> <span class="_1evgffa2 _1evgffa3"><a href="/authors/jonquilyn-hill">Jonquilyn Hill</a></span></span></div><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms6 _10c0hms1 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 pn04iqa"><time dateTime="2026-09-27T11:30:00+00:00">Sep 27, 2026, 11:30 AM UTC</time></span></div><div class="_8u8x18n _8u8x18m _8u8x18u _8u8x18w"><div class="_8u8x18y _8u8x18x"><span class="_8u8x1817"><ul class="duet--article--share-buttons _1o2224e0"><li><button aria-expanded="false" aria-haspopup="true" aria-label="Share article" class="_1o2224e2 _1o2224e1"><svg class="_1o2224ed _1o2224ec" width="14" height="12" viewBox="0 0 14 12" fill="none" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Share</title><path fill="" stroke="" stroke-linejoin="round" d="M8.857 1.125V3.68S2.5 3 .5 9.714v1.161c1.632-3.482 6.275-3.482 8.357-2.786v2.322L13.5 5.768 8.857 1.125Z"></path></svg></button></li><li><div><button aria-expanded="false" aria-haspopup="true" aria-label="Gift this article" class="_1o2224e2 _1o2224e1">
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She joined Vox in 2022 as a senior producer and then as host of <em>The Weeds</em>, Vox’s policy podcast.</span></div></div></div></div></div><div id="zephr-anchor" class="_10sa9om13"><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Recently, while taking the metro to work, I encountered something that shocked me. The train was pulling up, just as the man in front of me tapped to pay to go through the gate, and a woman pushed past me to cut me in line. I still made the train (after I briefly considered acting in a way that would have made us both late for work), but as I passed each stop I got angrier and angrier. Why did she think her 
9commute was more important than someone else’s? We learn to wait our turn when we’re children — why was that lesson lost all these years later?</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">I’m not the only one irritated by this kind of thing. Almost half of Americans say that they’ve noticed <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/03/12/almost-half-of-americans-say-people-have-gotten-ruder-since-the-covid-19-pandemic/">people are ruder</a> in the wake of the Covid pandemic. Whether it’s poor behavior at the airport or blasting music from your phone with no headphones in public, it’s like people don’t know how to act anymore.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Kirsty Sedgman is a professor at the University of Bristol and the author of the book <em>On Being Unreasonable: Breaking the Rules and Making Things Better.</em> She argues that while people might not mind them as much anymore, manners are important.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">“They encourage us to think about others and to behave in ways that are not antisocial and potentially even dangerous,” she told Vox. “How can we have these conversations so that we figure out what we all want social life and public space to be like in a way that benefits everybody and doesn’t accidentally exclude [anyone]?</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">While some etiquette rules are pretty self explanatory (let’s not cut in line!), others are more difficult to navigate. “I always try to make a point and I’m not perfect, believe me,” Sedgman said. “I’m not saying that I know how to behave in every single circumstance and I’m always right. I’m no Emily Post.”</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Post was the socialite who literally wrote the book on the subject: <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/14314/pg14314-images.html"><em>Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home</em></a> was first published in the 1920s. More than a century later, her family is still in the business of teaching us how to mind our manners.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Lizzie Post is Emily Post’s great-great granddaughter and co-president of the Emily Post Institute. That’s a title and pedigree that could come with a lot of pressure. But Post says it’s all about your audience. “A lot of times, as long as I don’t get the sense that they would prefer a very formalized version of me, I try to reassure people: laugh, joke, swear, it’s okay,” Post said.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Audience isn’t the only thing that’s changed — the times have too. How has etiquette shifted over the years? And how do we navigate newer things — like our phones? We find out that and more on this week’s episode of <em>Explain It to Me</em>, Vox’s weekly call-in podcast.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Below is an excerpt of my conversation with Post, edited for length and clarity. You can listen to the full episode on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/explain-it-to-me/id1042433083">Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/1vSUO6Bg4abtjRF7fnGpT1">Spotify</a>, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’d like to submit a question, send an email to [email protected] or call 1-800-618-8545.</p></div><div class="duet--article--block-placement _13j8zv41 _13j8zv40 duet--article--article-body-component"><div class="ddlwtnd"></div></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>For a long time etiquette has just been something that’s agreed upon. You have to have certain manners to socialize in certain circles and within certain classes. But I think that’s changed. Why do you think that’s happened?</strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">My great-great-grandmother wrote from 1922 to 1960. While she talked about the standards of the day, she also allowed those standards to change. Think about 1922 to 1960 — there were huge swings in how people behaved. Chaperones were gone from the book by her second edition. Life was changing and evolving and she changed and evolved with it.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Etiquette is a French word — it sounds fancy. I think that it can very easily have these connotations of being something that is about a secret society, or it’s only about formality, or it’s only for people who are very wealthy. It can also start to feel a lot like judgment.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>One of the reasons etiquette can feel so out of sorts, particularly right now, is because times are changing and they’re just changing really quickly. </strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>I think phone etiquette is really, really emblematic of that. One thing that is so common is people playing music or having their phone on speaker, no headphones. Do we just not know how to act when it comes to our phones? </strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">There are definitely rules of courtesy and blaring anything out of your phone, whether it’s a phone call, it’s a FaceTime call, it’s your TikTok feed, or that movie that you’re watching, is all inappropriate when other people are a captive audience and haven’t asked to be.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">It’s this mindful moment where people forget where they are. They’re so used to being in their own world with their phone six inches from their face that they forget that anyone can even hear what it is that they’re doing on their phone at that particular moment.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">It’s really hard to correct this behavior because generally, we don’t correct other people’s behaviors.</p></div><div class="duet--article--block-placement _13j8zv41 _13j8zv40 duet--article--article-body-component"><div class="duet--article--related _10sa9omj _12jo4f70"><h3 class="_12jo4f73 _12jo4f71">Related</h3><ul class="_12jo4f75"><li class="_12jo4f78 _12jo4f76"><a href="https://www.vox.com/life/500453/phone-free-social-events-dance-parties" class="_12jo4f79">People are sick of their phones and desperate for connection. Here’s a solution that’s actually working.</a></li></ul></div></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>I admit, especially in public spaces, I am Team Mind My Business. But at what point do you step in?</strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">It’s a really tough judgment call, and it’s going to be different for every situation.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">I think that when I am in a space that I’m only going to occupy for a short time, I am telling myself, “Mind my own business, don’t worry about it.” When it’s that train ride that we’re starting, or that four-hour flight that you’re on, I think we start to have to say something and to ask, “Hey, could you put some headphones on while you’re enjoying that or watching that or on your call?”</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">I say, “Could you,” because they might not have headphones with them, but even if they don’t, it’s a reminder. It’s like that check of awareness that, “Oh, this thing I’m doing is impacting people around me.”</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Here’s the rub: You can’t control other people’s behavior. You cannot control if this person is going to get defensive. If you’re going to ask the question, be prepared for rudeness in return. And I hate saying that, but it is the reality. We can’t control other people’s behavior.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>So there’s clearly a <em>wrong</em> way to use speakerphone and FaceTime. What’s the right way to use them? </strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">We do a lot of talking on our speakerphones, even in our own homes. You might be moving from one room to another, passing through the living room where people are watching TV or you’re in the kitchen and all of a sudden a roommate has come into the room while you’re on a call that’s on speakerphone. You really want to let the person on the other end of the phone know that there’s other people present now.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">My cousin is so good about this. He always tells his daughter when she gets into the car, “Hey, Aunt Lizzie is on the phone. Say hi to her.” Then I know to watch my language. She knows to say hi to her auntie. And that’s just so much nicer than all of a sudden having a voice pop up and realizing, “Oh my gosh, I was just telling a really personal story and I didn’t realize there was a bigger audience for it.”</p></div><div class="duet--article--block-placement _13j8zv41 _13j8zv40 duet--article--article-body-component"><div class="duet--article--related _10sa9omj _12jo4f70"><h3 class="_12jo4f73 _12jo4f71">Related</h3><ul class="_12jo4f75"><li class="_12jo4f78 _12jo4f76"><a href="https://www.vox.com/the-gray-area/394877/christine-rosen-new-book-technology-phones-convenience" class="_12jo4f79">Your phone is destroying your social life</a></li></ul></div></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>What about having your phone on the table you’re at dinner? People feel very passionately about that one.</strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">I am so bad about this one. I often have mine face down on the table. The funny thing is, I’m not looking for someone to call with an interruption, but it’s not good etiquette.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">It is really best to have that phone put away, to make sure that it’s on silent and it’s not going to interrupt your time together. To have it there, especially face up where any message that comes in is now going to catch the attention of everyone at the table, that’s an unnecessary distraction.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1"><strong>Is there an obligation when you need to text someone back? Does it have to be within a certain time? You go about your day and the next thing you know, you look at your phone and you have 80 unread texts and it’s like, “Oh no, what do I do? My friends will all be mad at me.”</strong></p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">I wish there was, but it depends on the text itself.</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">The ones I don’t think you should wait on is when friends or potential romantic partners offer a time to get together. Don’t let that sit. If there’s a reason why you’re letting it sit, talk to someone about that. Say, “Oh, I’ve got to check with my partner about that. I know we had talked about doing something else Saturday at that time.”</p></div><div class="duet--article--article-body-component"><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup duet--article--standard-paragraph _10sa9omi itxwjq1 itxwjq0 pn04iq1">Give them some kind of an understanding, because it’s a really beautiful thing to be invited to go spend time with someone. 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9<svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-09-20T11:00:00+00:00">Sep 20</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/502777/history-of-partying-imogen-willets-explained">Why we should all be partying more</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">The historical case for partying it up, explained.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Jonquilyn Hill</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--content-cards--content-card _110vy5i3 _110vy5i0 fxw44b3"><div class="_110vy5in"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-09-13T11:42:00+00:00">Sep 13</time></span></div></div><div class="_110vy5i9 _110vy5i6 _110vy5ic _110vy5ih _19xomfu3"><img alt="How to find a date in real life" data-chromatic="ignore" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" class="_110vy5if _1ssnpw50" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent;background-size:cover;background-position:50% 50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-image:url(&quot;data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns=&#x27;http://www.w3.org/2000/svg&#x27; 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9<div class="_19xomfu1 _19xomfu4"><svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-09-13T11:42:00+00:00">Sep 13</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/502171/dating-real-life-apps-how-to">How to find a date in real life</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">Dating the old-fashioned way, explained by a dating coach.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Jonquilyn Hill</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--content-cards--content-card _110vy5i3 _110vy5i0 fxw44b3"><div class="_110vy5in"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span 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9<div class="_19xomfu1 _19xomfu4"><svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-08-30T12:00:00+00:00">Aug 30</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/500300/artists-songs-flopping-charts-what-happened">What makes a song flop?</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">From Drake to Katy Perry, sometimes a song just doesn’t hit.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Jonquilyn Hill</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--content-cards--content-card _110vy5i3 _110vy5i0 fxw44b3"><div class="_110vy5in"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-08-16T11:00:00+00:00">Aug 16</time></span></div></div><div class="_110vy5i9 _110vy5i6 _110vy5ic _110vy5ih _19xomfu3"><img alt="Why babies’ experiences matter (even if they can’t remember them)" data-chromatic="ignore" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" class="_110vy5if _1ssnpw50" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent;background-size:cover;background-position:50% 50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-image:url(&quot;data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns=&#x27;http://www.w3.org/2000/svg&#x27; 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9<div class="_19xomfu1 _19xomfu4"><svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-08-16T11:00:00+00:00">Aug 16</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/499159/babies-early-childhood-memories-experiences-amnesia-impact">Why babies’ experiences matter (even if they can’t remember them)</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">How early childhood shapes us as adults.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Avishay Artsy</span></span><span><span class="qz97u00"> and </span><span>Noam Hassenfeld</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--content-cards--content-card _110vy5i3 _110vy5i0 fxw44b3"><div class="_110vy5in"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-08-09T11:30:00+00:00">Aug 9</time></span></div></div><div class="_110vy5i9 _110vy5i6 _110vy5ic _110vy5ih _19xomfu3"><img alt="How to staycation better" data-chromatic="ignore" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" class="_110vy5if _1ssnpw50" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent;background-size:cover;background-position:50% 50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-image:url(&quot;data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns=&#x27;http://www.w3.org/2000/svg&#x27; %3E%3Cfilter id=&#x27;b&#x27; color-interpolation-filters=&#x27;sRGB&#x27;%3E%3CfeGaussianBlur stdDeviation=&#x27;20&#x27;/%3E%3CfeColorMatrix values=&#x27;1 0 0 0 0 0 1 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9<div class="_19xomfu1 _19xomfu4"><svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-08-09T11:30:00+00:00">Aug 9</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/497734/vacation-staycation-how-to-plan-explained">How to staycation better</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">And why you should consider one.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Jonquilyn Hill</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--content-cards--content-card _110vy5i3 _110vy5i0 fxw44b3 _110vy5ik _110vy5il"><div class="_110vy5in"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-06-28T12:00:00+00:00">Jun 28</time></span></div></div><div class="_110vy5i9 _110vy5i6 _110vy5ic _110vy5ih _19xomfu3"><img alt="Four easy ways to live longer" data-chromatic="ignore" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" class="_110vy5if _1ssnpw50" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent;background-size:cover;background-position:50% 50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-image:url(&quot;data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns=&#x27;http://www.w3.org/2000/svg&#x27; %3E%3Cfilter id=&#x27;b&#x27; color-interpolation-filters=&#x27;sRGB&#x27;%3E%3CfeGaussianBlur stdDeviation=&#x27;20&#x27;/%3E%3CfeColorMatrix values=&#x27;1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 100 -1&#x27; result=&#x27;s&#x27;/%3E%3CfeFlood x=&#x27;0&#x27; y=&#x27;0&#x27; width=&#x27;100%25&#x27; 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9<svg class="_19xomfua" width="13" height="10" viewBox="0 0 13 10" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><title>Podcast</title><path d="M6.648.463 3.471 3.212H.463v3.537h2.962l3.223 2.788V.463Z" fill=""></path><path fill-rule="evenodd" clip-rule="evenodd" d="M6.841.042c.165.075.27.24.27.421v9.074a.463.463 0 0 1-.766.35L3.253 7.212H.463A.463.463 0 0 1 0 6.749V3.212c0-.256.207-.463.463-.463h2.835L6.345.113a.463.463 0 0 1 .496-.071Zm-.656 1.434L3.774 3.562a.463.463 0 0 1-.303.113H.926v2.61h2.5c.11 0 .218.04.302.113l2.457 2.126V1.476ZM10.474.145c.2-.16.49-.128.65.071a7.65 7.65 0 0 1 0 9.583.463.463 0 0 1-.721-.58 6.725 6.725 0 0 0 0-8.423.463.463 0 0 1 .07-.65Zm-1.19 1.192a.463.463 0 0 1 .648.098 6.02 6.02 0 0 1 0 7.145.463.463 0 1 1-.745-.55 5.094 5.094 0 0 0 0-6.045.463.463 0 0 1 .098-.648ZM7.99 2.638a.463.463 0 0 1 .642.133 4.075 4.075 0 0 1 0 4.473.463.463 0 0 1-.775-.508 3.15 3.15 0 0 0 0-3.456.463.463 0 0 1 .133-.642Z" fill=""></path></svg></div></div><div class="_110vy5ii"><div><div><div class="_110vy5io"><div class="xl4kb38 xl4kb34 xl4kb30"><span class="_1eglwsb1 pn04iq7 pn04iq5">Explain It to Me</span><span class="duet--article--timestamp _10c0hms2 _10c0hms0 pn04iq5 _10sa9omr"><time dateTime="2026-06-28T12:00:00+00:00">Jun 28</time></span></div></div><div><div class="pn04iq9 cqcdwc3 cqcdwc0"><a class="fxw44b0 fxw44b4" href="/explain-it-to-me/493287/how-to-live-longer-food-sleep-exercise-socializing">Four easy ways to live longer</a></div></div><p class="duet--article--dangerously-set-cms-markup cqcdwch cqcdwcc cqcdwcd">“Longevity” doesn’t need to be an elaborate science experiment.</p><div class="xl4kb3h xl4kb3d xl4kb30"><span><span class="qz97u00">By </span><span class="qz97u02 qz97u01 pn04iq5"><span><span>Jonquilyn Hill</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="duet--ad--native-ad-linkset _12y2yrn4 _12y2yrn5 _12y2yrna hidden" data-native-ad-id="container"><div><div class="visually-hidden"><div class="dynamic-native-ad-native_ad_linkset_link"></div></div><a href="/" aria-label="Advertisement"><div class=""><div class="_12y2yrn7"><span data-native-ad-id="preamble" class="_12y2yrn8 _12y2yrn9">Advertiser Content From</span><div><img data-native-ad-id="logo" src="" alt="Sponsor Logo" class="_12y2yrng"/></div></div><p class="_12y2yrnj" data-native-ad-id="title">This is the title for the native ad</p></div></a></div></div></div><div class="ptf4xd5"><hr class="duet--article--divider _10sa9omj _1xcjzel0"/></div><div class="ptf4xd6"></div></div></div><!--/$--></div></main></div><footer class="duet--navigation--footer"><div class="_1pxgsum0"><div class="_1pxgsum1"><div class="_1pxgsum3 _1pxgsum4 _1pxgsum2"><a href="/"><svg width="120" height="58" viewBox="0 0 120 58" fill="black" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="_1pxgsum6 _1pxgsum5"><title>Vox</title><desc>Vox logo</desc><path fill="#fff200" d="M155-6.7h123.8v115H155z"></path><path d="M55.1 77.5h1.7l.2-.8H35.6l-.2.8h3.1c2.7 0 4.9 1.9 4.9 5.6 0 2.1-.9 4.8-2.4 8.1l-13.9 30.7L23.7 82c-.3-3.1 1.3-4.5 4.8-4.5h2l.2-.8H.5l-.3.8h1.9c2.4 0 3.3 1.5 3.5 4.3l5.4 51.6h12.7L45 88.3c3.3-6.7 6.7-10.8 10.1-10.8zm-2.5 56.1c-1.9 0-3.1-.6-3.1-3.8 0-4 1.5-11.9 3.1-19.1.2 3.3 2.5 6.6 5.9 6.6.8 0 1.5-.1 2.2-.2-3.2 13.7-4.4 16.5-8.1 16.5zm60.6-27.1c4 0 6.6-3.3 6.6-7.1 0-3.2-2.3-5.6-5.6-5.6-5.9 0-8.7 4.7-13.6 13.3-1-5.4-3.5-12.4-9.7-12.4-7 0-15.1 10-22.5 16.2-3.4 2.9-7.1 4.7-10.1 4.7-3.1 0-4.9-3.1-4.9-8.6 2.2-9 3.3-11.3 6.7-11.3 2.3 0 3.3 1.3 3.3 4 0 2.9-.6 7.7-1.9 13.8 3.3-1 8.3-5.2 12.5-9.7-2.2-5.3-7-8.9-13.8-8.9-12.7 0-23.9 11.4-23.9 24.2 0 8.8 6.3 15.5 16.1 15.5 16.2 0 23-14 23-23.8 0-1.4-.1-2.4-.2-3.7 2.5-2.7 5.7-5.3 8.3-5.3 3 0 5.4 7.5 7.7 18.8-2.1 2.3-4.2 6.7-5.2 7.5-.4-4-3.1-6.5-6.6-6.5-4 0-6.7 3.8-6.7 7 0 3.6 2.5 6 5.8 6 6.9 0 8.8-6.5 13.1-12.3 1.3 6.2 4.4 12.3 9.7 12.3 6.3 0 12.1-5.4 15.1-9.2l-.6-.9c-1.9 1.9-3.8 3.1-6 3.1-3.9 0-6.7-8.4-8.8-18.6 1.3-1.7 3.3-6.1 4.7-7.7.9 1.8 2.9 5.2 7.5 5.2z" fill="#fff"></path><path d="M55.1.9h1.7l.2-.8H35.6l-.2.8h3.1c2.7 0 4.9 1.9 4.9 5.6 0 2.1-.9 4.8-2.4 8.1L27.1 45.3 23.7 5.4C23.4 2.3 25 .9 28.5.9h2l.2-.8H.5L.2.9h1.9c2.4 0 3.3 1.5 3.5 4.3L11 56.8h12.7L45 11.7C48.3 5 51.7.9 55.1.9zM52.6 57c-1.9 0-3.1-.6-3.1-3.8 0-4 1.5-11.9 3.1-19.1.2 3.3 2.5 6.6 5.9 6.6.8 0 1.5-.1 2.2-.2C57.5 54.2 56.3 57 52.6 57zm60.6-27.1c4 0 6.6-3.3 6.6-7.1 0-3.2-2.3-5.6-5.6-5.6-5.9 0-8.7 4.7-13.6 13.3-1-5.4-3.5-12.4-9.7-12.4-7 0-15.1 10-22.5 16.2C65 37.2 61.3 39 58.3 39c-3.1 0-4.9-3.1-4.9-8.6 2.2-9 3.3-11.3 6.7-11.3 2.3 0 3.3 1.3 3.3 4 0 2.9-.6 7.7-1.9 13.8 3.3-1 8.3-5.2 12.5-9.7-2.2-5.3-7-8.9-13.8-8.9-12.7 0-23.9 11.4-23.9 24.2 0 8.8 6.3 15.5 16.
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9<script id="__NEXT_DATA__" type="application/json">{"props":{"pageProps":{"resourceType":"post","hydration":{"responses":[{"operationName":"PostLayoutQuery","variables":{"nodeId":"dngyOnBvc3Q6NTAzNDY5"},"data":{"node":{"__typename":"PostResourceType","id":"dngyOnBvc3Q6NTAzNDY5","title":"Wait, what are the rules around cellphone etiquette now?","customCss":"","comments":{"enabled":false,"mode":"standard"},"path":"/explain-it-to-me/503469/phone-etiquette-headphones-speakerphone-lizzie-emily-post","permalink":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me/503469/phone-etiquette-headphones-speakerphone-lizzie-emily-post","resourceType":"post","template":null,"hasAffiliateLinks":false,"primaryCampaign":null,"primaryCategory":{"id":"dngyOmNhdGVnb3J5OjM3MTI2","newsletter":null,"title":"Explain It to Me","path":"/explain-it-to-me","parent":null,"slug":"explain-it-to-me","isHub":true,"permalink":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me"},"categories":[{"title":"Explain It to Me","path":"/explain-it-to-me","slug":"explain-it-to-me","newsletter":null,"id":"dngyOmNhdGVnb3J5OjM3MTI2","parent":null,"isHub":true,"permalink":"https://www.vox.com/explain-it-to-me"},{"title":"Life","path":"/life","slug":"life","newsletter":null,"id":"dngyOmNhdGVnb3J5Ojc4OQ==","parent":null,"isHub":true,"permalink":"https://www.vox.com/life"},{"title":"Podcasts","path":"/podcasts","slug":"podcasts","newsletter":null,"id":"dngyOmNhdGVnb3J5Ojg3OQ==","parent":null,"isHub":true,"permalink":"https://www.vox.com/podcasts"},{"title":"Technology","path":"/technology","slug":"technology","newsletter":null,"id":"dngyOmNhdGVnb3J5OjgzMg==","parent":null,"isHub":true,"permalink":"https://www.vox.com/technology"}],"internalCategories":[{"slug":"approach-gives-people-advice-or-frameworks","id":"dngyOmludGVybmFsQ2F0ZWdvcnk6Nzk2"},{"slug":"audio","id":"dngyOmludGVybmFsQ2F0ZWdvcnk6NDE="},{"slug":"category-q-amp-a","id":"dngyOmludGVybmFsQ2F0ZWdvcnk6NDQyNw=="}],"internalSuperCats":[],"blocks":[{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Recently, while taking the metro to work, I encountered something that shocked me. The train was pulling up, just as the man in front of me tapped to pay to go through the gate, and a woman pushed past me to cut me in line. I still made the train (after I briefly considered acting in a way that would have made us both late for work), but as I passed each stop I got angrier and angrier. Why did she think her commute was more important than someone else’s? We learn to wait our turn when we’re children — why was that lesson lost all these years later?"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"I’m not the only one irritated by this kind of thing. Almost half of Americans say that they’ve noticed \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/03/12/almost-half-of-americans-say-people-have-gotten-ruder-since-the-covid-19-pandemic/\"\u003epeople are ruder\u003c/a\u003e in the wake of the Covid pandemic. Whether it’s poor behavior at the airport or blasting music from your phone with no headphones in public, it’s like people don’t know how to act anymore."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Kirsty Sedgman is a professor at the University of Bristol and the author of the book \u003cem\u003eOn Being Unreasonable: Breaking the Rules and Making Things Better.\u003c/em\u003e She argues that while people might not mind them as much anymore, manners are important."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"“They encourage us to think about others and to behave in ways that are not antisocial and potentially even dangerous,” she told Vox. “How can we have these conversations so that we figure out what we all want social life and public space to be like in a way that benef
9its everybody and doesn’t accidentally exclude [anyone]?"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"While some etiquette rules are pretty self explanatory (let’s not cut in line!), others are more difficult to navigate. “I always try to make a point and I’m not perfect, believe me,” Sedgman said. “I’m not saying that I know how to behave in every single circumstance and I’m always right. I’m no Emily Post.”"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Post was the socialite who literally wrote the book on the subject: \u003ca href=\"https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/14314/pg14314-images.html\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eEtiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/a\u003e was first published in the 1920s. More than a century later, her family is still in the business of teaching us how to mind our manners."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Lizzie Post is Emily Post’s great-great granddaughter and co-president of the Emily Post Institute. That’s a title and pedigree that could come with a lot of pressure. But Post says it’s all about your audience. “A lot of times, as long as I don’t get the sense that they would prefer a very formalized version of me, I try to reassure people: laugh, joke, swear, it’s okay,” Post said."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Audience isn’t the only thing that’s changed — the times have too. How has etiquette shifted over the years? And how do we navigate newer things — like our phones? We find out that and more on this week’s episode of \u003cem\u003eExplain It to Me\u003c/em\u003e, Vox’s weekly call-in podcast."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Below is an excerpt of my conversation with Post, edited for length and clarity. You can listen to the full episode on \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/explain-it-to-me/id1042433083\"\u003eApple Podcasts\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/1vSUO6Bg4abtjRF7fnGpT1\"\u003eSpotify\u003c/a\u003e, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’d like to submit a question, send an email to [email protected] or call 1-800-618-8545."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreEmbedBlockType","__typename":"CoreEmbedBlockType","embedHtml":"\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-spotify wp-block-embed-spotify\"\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"left: 0; width: 100%; height: 152px; position: relative;\"\u003e\u003ciframe title=\"Explain It to Me\" src=\"https://open.spotify.com/embed/show/1vSUO6Bg4abtjRF7fnGpT1?utm_source=oembed\" style=\"top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; position: absolute; border: 0; border-radius: 12px;\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write *; encrypted-media *; fullscreen *; picture-in-picture *;\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/figure\u003e\n","placement":"default","provider":"spotify"},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eFor a long time etiquette has just been something that’s agreed upon. You have to have certain manners to socialize in certain circles and within certain classes. But I think that’s changed. Why do you think that’s happened?\u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"My great-great-grandmother wrote from 1922 to 1960. While she talked about the standards of the day, she also allowed those standards to change. Think about 1922 to 1960 — there were huge swings in how people behaved. Chaperones were gone from the book by her second edition. Life was changing and evolving and she changed and evolved with it."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Etiquette is a French word — it sounds fancy. I think that it can very easily have these connotations of being something that is about a secret society, or it’s only about formality, or it’s only for people who are very wealthy. It can also start to feel a lot like judgment."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eOne of the reasons etiquette can feel so out of sorts, particularly right now, is because times are changing and they’re just changing really quickly. \u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eI think phone etiquette is really, really emblematic of that. One thing that is so common is people playing music or having their phone on speaker, no headphones. Do we just not know how to act when it comes to our phones? \u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"There are definitely rules of courtesy and blaring anything out of your phone, whether it’s a phone call, it’s a FaceTime call, it’s your TikTok feed, or that movie that you’re watching, is all inappropriate when other people are a captive audience and haven’t asked to be."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"It’s this mindful moment where people forget where they are. They’re so used to being in their own world with their phone six inches from their face that they forget that anyone can even hear what it is that they’re doing on their phone at that particular moment."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"It’s really hard to correct this behavior because generally, we don’t correct other people’s behaviors."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"RelatedPostsBlockType","__typename":"RelatedPostsBlockType","links":[{"url":"https://www.vox.com/life/500453/phone-free-social-events-dance-parties","title":"People are sick of their phones and desperate for connection. Here’s a solution that’s actually working."}],"placement":"default"},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eI admit, especially in public spaces, I am Team Mind My Business. But at what point do you step in?\u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"It’s a really tough judgment call, and it’s going to be different for every situation."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"I think that when I am in a space that I’m only going to occupy for a short time, I am telling myself, “Mind my own business, don’t worry about it.” When it’s that train ride that we’re starting, or that four-hour flight that you’re on, I think we start to have to say something and to ask, “Hey, could you put some headphones on while you’re enjoying that or watching that or on your call?”"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"I say, “Could you,” because they might not have headphones with them, but even if they don’t, it’s a reminder. It’s like that check of awareness that, “Oh, this thing I’m doing is impacting people around me.”"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Here’s the rub: You can’t control other people’s behavior. You cannot control if this person is going to get defensive. If you’re going to ask the question, be prepared for rudeness in return. And I hate saying that, but it is the reality. We can’t control other people’s behavior."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eSo there’s clearly a \u003cem\u003ewrong\u003c/em\u003e way to use speakerphone and FaceTime. What’s the right way to use them? \u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"We do a lot of talking on our speakerphones, even in our own homes. You might be moving from one room to another, passing through the living room where people are watching TV or you’re in the kitchen and all of a sudden a roommate has come into the room while you’re on a call that’s on speakerphone. You really want to let the person on the other end of the phone know that there’s other people present now."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"My cousin is so good about this. He always tells his daughter when she gets into the car, “Hey, Aunt Lizzie is on the phone. Say hi to her.” Then I know to watch my language. She knows to say hi to her auntie. And that’s just so much nicer than all of a sudden having a voice pop up and realizing, “Oh my gosh, I was just telling a really personal story and I didn’t realize there was a bigger audience for it.”"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"RelatedPostsBlockType","__typename":"RelatedPostsBlockType","links":[{"url":"https://www.vox.com/the-gray-area/394877/christine-rosen-new-book-technology-phones-convenience","title":"Your phone is destroying your social life"}],"placement":"default"},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eWhat about having your phone on the table you’re at dinner? People feel very passionately about that one.\u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"I am so bad about this one. I often have mine face down on the table. The funny thing is, I’m not looking for someone to call with an interruption, but it’s not good etiquette."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"It is really best to have that phone put away, to make sure that it’s on silent and it’s not going to interrupt your time together. To have it there, especially face up where any message that comes in is now going to catch the attention of everyone at the table, that’s an unnecessary distraction."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"\u003cstrong\u003eIs there an obligation when you need to text someone back? Does it have to be within a certain time? You go about your day and the next thing you know, you look at your phone and you have 80 unread texts and it’s like, “Oh no, what do I do? My friends will all be mad at me.”\u003c/strong\u003e"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"I wish there was, but it depends on the text itself."}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"The ones I don’t think you should wait on is when friends or potential romantic partners offer a time to get together. Don’t let that sit. If there’s a reason why you’re letting it sit, talk to someone about that. Say, “Oh, I’ve got to check with my partner about that. I know we had talked about doing something else Saturday at that time.”"}],"dropcap":false,"endmark":false,"lead":false},{"__isBlockType":"CoreParagraphBlockType","__typename":"CoreParagraphBlockType","paragraphContents":[{"html":"Give them some kind of an understanding, because it’s a really beautiful thing to be invited to go spend time with someone. 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The train was pulling up, just as the man in front of me tapped to pay to go through the gate, and a woman pushed past me to cut me in line. I still made the train (after I briefly considered acting in a way that would have made us both late for work), but as I passed each stop I got angrier and angrier. Why did she think her commute was more important than someone else’s? We learn to wait our turn when we’re children — why was that lesson lost all these years later?\u0026nbsp;\nI’m not the only one irritated by this kind of thing. Almost half of Americans say that they’ve noticed people are ruder in the wake of the Covid pandemic. Whether it’s poor behavior at the airport or blasting music from your phone with no headphones in public, it’s like people don’t know how to act anymore.\u0026nbsp;\nKirsty Sedgman is a professor at the University of Bristol and the author of the book On Being Unreasonable: Breaking the Rules and Making Things Better. She argues that while people might not mind them as much anymore, manners are important.\u0026nbsp;\n“They encourage us to think about others and to behave in ways that are not antisocial and potentially even dangerous,” she told Vox. “How can we have these conversations so that we figure out what we all want social life and public space to be like in a way that benefits everybody and doesn’t accidentally exclude [anyone]?\nWhile some etiquette rules are pretty self explanatory (let’s not cut in line!), others are more difficult to navigate. “I always try to make a point and I’m not perfect, believe me,” Sedgman said. “I’m not saying that I know how to behave in every single circumstance and I’m always right. I’m no Emily Post.”\nPost was the socialite who literally wrote the book on the subject: Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home was first published in the 1920s. More than a century later, her family is still in the business of teaching us how to mind our manners.\nLizzie Post is Emily Post’s great-great granddaughter and co-president of the Emily Post Institute. That’s a title and pedigree that could come with a lot of pressure. But Post says it’s all about your audience. “A lot of times, as long as I don’t get the sense that they would prefer a very formalized version of me, I try to reassure people: laugh, joke, swear, it’s okay,” Post said.\nAudience isn’t the only thing that’s changed — the times have too. How has etiquette shifted over the years? And how do we navigate newer things — like our phones? We find out that and more on this week’s episode of Explain It to Me, Vox’s weekly call-in podcast.\nBelow is an excerpt of my conversation with Post, edited for length and clarity. You can listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you’d like to submit a question, send an email to [email protected] or call 1-800-618-8545.\n[Media: https://open.spotify.com/show/1vSUO6Bg4abtjRF7fnGpT1]\nFor a long time etiquette has just been something that’s agreed upon. You have to have certain manners to socialize in certain circles and within certain classes. But I think that’s changed. Why do you think that’s happened?\nMy great-great-grandmother wrote from 1922 to 1960. While she talked about the standards of the day, she also allowed those standards to change. Think about 1922 to 1960 — there were huge swings in how people behaved. Chaperones were gone from the book by her second edition. Life was changing and evolving and she changed and evolved with it.\u0026nbsp;\nEtiquette is a French word — it sounds fancy. I think that it can very easily have these connotations of being something that is about a secret society, or it’s only about formality, or it’s only for people who are very wealthy. It can also start to feel a lot like judgment.\u0026nbsp;\nOne of the reasons etiquette can feel so out of sorts, particularly right now, is because times are changing and they’re just changing really quickly.\u0026nbsp;\nI think phone etiquette is really, really emblematic of that. One thing that is so common is people playing music or having their phone on speaker, no headphones. Do we just not know how to act when it comes to our phones?\u0026nbsp;\nThere are definitely rules of courtesy and blaring anything out of your phone, whether it’s a phone call, it’s a FaceTime call, it’s your TikTok feed, or that movie that you’re watching, is all inappropriate when other people are a captive audience and haven’t asked to be.\u0026nbsp;\nIt’s this mindful moment where people forget where they are. They’re so used to being in their own world with their phone six inches from their face that they forget that anyone can even hear what it is that they’re doing on their phone at that particular moment.\u0026nbsp;\nIt’s really hard to correct this behavior because generally, we don’t correct other people’s behaviors.\
9nI admit, especially in public spaces, I am Team Mind My Business. But at what point do you step in?\nIt’s a really tough judgment call, and it’s going to be different for every situation.\u0026nbsp;\nI think that when I am in a space that I’m only going to occupy for a short time, I am telling myself, “Mind my own business, don’t worry about it.” When it’s that train ride that we’re starting, or that four-hour flight that you’re on, I think we start to have to say something and to ask, “Hey, could you put some headphones on while you’re enjoying that or watching that or on your call?”\u0026nbsp;\nI say, “Could you,” because they might not have headphones with them, but even if they don’t, it’s a reminder. It’s like that check of awareness that, “Oh, this thing I’m doing is impacting people around me.”\nHere’s the rub: You can’t control other people’s behavior. You cannot control if this person is going to get defensive. If you’re going to ask the question, be prepared for rudeness in return. And I hate saying that, but it is the reality. We can’t control other people’s behavior.\nSo there’s clearly a wrong way to use speakerphone and FaceTime. What’s the right way to use them?\u0026nbsp;\nWe do a lot of talking on our speakerphones, even in our own homes. You might be moving from one room to another, passing through the living room where people are watching TV or you’re in the kitchen and all of a sudden a roommate has come into the room while you’re on a call that’s on speakerphone. You really want to let the person on the other end of the phone know that there’s other people present now.\u0026nbsp;\nMy cousin is so good about this. He always tells his daughter when she gets into the car, “Hey, Aunt Lizzie is on the phone. Say hi to her.” Then I know to watch my language. She knows to say hi to her auntie. And that’s just so much nicer than all of a sudden having a voice pop up and realizing, “Oh my gosh, I was just telling a really personal story and I didn’t realize there was a bigger audience for it.”\u0026nbsp;\nWhat about having your phone on the table you’re at dinner? People feel very passionately about that one.\nI am so bad about this one. I often have mine face down on the table. The funny thing is, I’m not looking for someone to call with an interruption, but it’s not good etiquette.\u0026nbsp;\nIt is really best to have that phone put away, to make sure that it’s on silent and it’s not going to interrupt your time together. To have it there, especially face up where any message that comes in is now going to catch the attention of everyone at the table, that’s an unnecessary distraction.\u0026nbsp;\nIs there an obligation when you need to text someone back? Does it have to be within a certain time? You go about your day and the next thing you know, you look at your phone and you have 80 unread texts and it’s like, “Oh no, what do I do? My friends will all be mad at me.”\nI wish there was, but it depends on the text itself.\u0026nbsp;\nThe ones I don’t think you should wait on is when friends or potential romantic partners offer a time to get together. Don’t let that sit. If there’s a reason why you’re letting it sit, talk to someone about that. Say, “Oh, I’ve got to check with my partner about that. I know we had talked about doing something else Saturday at that time.”\u0026nbsp;\nGive them some kind of an understanding, because it’s a really beautiful thing to be invited to go spend time with someone. 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