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1<link rel="apple-touch-icon" type="image/png" sizes="180x180" href="/apple-touch-icon.png"><link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="32x32" href="/favicon-32x32.png"><link rel="icon" type="image/png" sizes="16x16" href="/favicon-16x16.png"><meta name="theme-color" content="#38BDF8"><meta property="og:locale" content="en_GB"><meta property="og:type" content="website"><meta property="og:image" content="https://a-long-and-winding-path.co.uk/images/og.png"><meta property="og:image:width" content="1200"><meta property="og:image:height" content="630"><meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image"><meta name="twitter:image" content="https://a-long-and-winding-path.co.uk/images/og.png"><meta name="robots" content="index, follow, max-image-preview:large, max-snippet:-1, max-video-preview:-1"><meta name="description" content="Our book takes you with us on the journey through the early years of becoming and being parents, but family life extends far beyond those early chapters. Our..."><meta property="og:url" content="https://a-long-and-winding-path.co.uk/blog"><meta property="og:title" content="Blog | Rob Lucas and Eve Lucas"><meta property="og:description" content="Our book takes you with us on the journey through the early years of becoming and being parents, but family life extends far beyond those early chapters. Our..."><meta name="twitter:title" content="Blog | Rob Lucas and Eve Lucas"><meta name="twitter:description" content="Our book takes you with us on the journey through the early years of becoming and being parents, but family life extends far beyond those early chapters. Our..."><link rel="canonical" href="https://a-long-and-winding-path.co.uk/blog"><meta property="og:site_name" content="netlio-author"></head><body class="antialiased scroll-smooth min-h-screen selection:bg-dark selection:text-light bg-light"><div id="__nuxt"><div><!----><div data-v-9bbb2a68><div class="relative" data-v-9bbb2a68><div class="initial-transition-overlay fixed bg-dark h-dvh inset-0 z-transition-html" style="opacity:1;pointer-events:auto;" data-v-9bbb2a68><div class="h-auto absolute top-1/2 -translate-y-1/2 p-4 sm:p-6 flex justify-center w-full" data-v-9bbb2a68><div class="max-w-2xl mx-auto" data-v-9bbb2a68><p class="text-2xl uppercase font-display text-light text-center pointer-events-none" style="opacity:1;" data-v-9bbb2a68>Rob Lucas and Eve Lucas</p></div></div></div></div></div><div><div class="relative"><div id="transition-html" style="display:none;opacity:0;pointer-events:none;" class="fixed bg-dark h-dvh inset-0 z-transition-html"></div></div></div><div class="min-h-screen flex flex-col justify-between"><div class="relative bg-light"><div><div class="fixed z-fixed inset-x-0 top-0 h-20" style="opacity:0;"><div class="absolute inset-0 lg:bg-light lg:shadow will-change-transform"></div><div class="relative size-full z-container"><div class="pl-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pl-[7.5vw] lg:pl-[min(10vw,10rem)] pr-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pr-[7.5vw] lg:pr-[min(10vw,10rem)] size-full mx-auto max-w-9xl"><!--[--><header class="relative flex flex-wrap items-center justify-end xs:justify-between size-full transition-all duration-300 rounded-lg gap"><nav class="hidden xs:block grow mr-4"><a href="/" class="transition duration-300"><span class="text-shadow text-2xl xs:text-3xl font-headings hover:text-accent transition-all cursor-pointer text-light">Rob Lucas and Eve Lucas</span></a></nav><nav class="hidden flex-1 lg:flex lg:items-center lg:justify-end"><ul role="list" class="flex items-center gap-x-6"><!--[--><li><div><a href="/" class="transition duration-300"><!--[--><span class="hover:text-accent font-body font-semibold text-lg whitespace-nowrap transition-all tracking-tight cursor-pointer border-b-2 pb-2 border-transparent text-light"><!--[-->Home<!--]--></span><!--]--></a></div></li><li><div><a href="/a-long-and-winding-path-to-fatherhood" class="transition duration-300"><!--[--><span class="hover:text-accent font-body font-semibold text-lg whitespace-nowrap transition-all tracking-tight cursor-pointer border-b-2 pb-2 border-transparent text-light"><!--[-->About the book<!--]--></span><!--]--></a></div></li><li><div><a aria-current="page" href="/blog" class="router-link-active router-link-exact-active transition duration-300"><!--[--><span class="hover:text-accent font-body font-semibold text-lg whitespace-nowrap transition-all tracking-tight cursor-pointer border-b-2 pb-2 border-accent text-light"><!--[-->Blog<!--]--></span><!--]--></a></div></li><li><div><a href="/a-long-and-winding-path-to-fatherhood#retailers" class="transition duration-300"><!--[--><button class="transition-all cursor-pointer hover:brightness-90 font-body font-semibold disabled:hover:cursor-not-allowed inline-flex items-center justify-center rounded-full border whitespace-nowrap bg-accent border-white text-white px-6 sm:px-8 py-2.5 text-base"><!--[-->Buy the book<!--]--></button><!--]--></a></div></li>
1<!--]--><!----></ul></nav><!--[--><div><svg class="lg:hidden bg-light hover:bg-dark text-dark hover:text-light border border-dark/20 hover:border-light/30 shadow hover:shadow-lg rounded-full p-3 transition-all cursor-pointer size-14" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 20 12" stroke="currentColor"><line x1="0" y1="2" x2="20" y2="2" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1"></line><line x1="0" y1="10" x2="20" y2="10" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1"></line></svg></div><nav class="hidden absolute z-fixed top-20 right-0 left-0 sm:left-auto opacity-0 will-change-transform" style="transform:rotate(2deg);"><div class="w-full xs:min-w-sm"><ul role="list" class="w-full bg-light border border-dark/20 shadow-lg rounded-lg p-1"><!--[--><li><a href="/" class=""><!--[--><div class="group sidebar-item relative text-black font-headings text-2xl transition duration-300 px-2 xs:px-4 sm:px-6 cursor-default py-4 hover:text-light cursor-pointer"><div class="absolute top-0 left-0 size-full rounded-2xl scale-90 group-hover:scale-100 transition-transform duration-500 group-hover:bg-dark will-change-transform"></div><div class="relative overflow-hidden h-full"><div class="absolute right-0 top-1/2 -translate-y-1/2"><div><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="currentColor" class="size-5 text-light scale-0 group-hover:scale-100 duration-500 will-change-transform"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M3 10a.75.75 0 0 1 .75-.75h10.638L10.23 5.29a.75.75 0 1 1 1.04-1.08l5.5 5.25a.75.75 0 0 1 0 1.08l-5.5 5.25a.75.75 0 1 1-1.04-1.08l4.158-3.96H3.75A.75.75 0 0 1 3 10Z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div><span class="inline-block relative pr-6 h-full"><span>Home</span></span></div></div><!--]--></a></li><li><a href="/a-long-and-winding-path-to-fatherhood" class=""><!--[--><div class="group sidebar-item relative text-black font-headings text-2xl transition duration-300 px-2 xs:px-4 sm:px-6 cursor-default py-4 hover:text-light cursor-pointer"><div class="absolute top-0 left-0 size-full rounded-2xl scale-90 group-hover:scale-100 transition-transform duration-500 group-hover:bg-dark will-change-transform"></div><div class="relative overflow-hidden h-full"><div class="absolute right-0 top-1/2 -translate-y-1/2"><div><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="currentColor" class="size-5 text-light scale-0 group-hover:scale-100 duration-500 will-change-transform"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M3 10a.75.75 0 0 1 .75-.75h10.638L10.23 5.29a.75.75 0 1 1 1.04-1.08l5.5 5.25a.75.75 0 0 1 0 1.08l-5.5 5.25a.75.75 0 1 1-1.04-1.08l4.158-3.96H3.75A.75.75 0 0 1 3 10Z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div><span class="inline-block relative pr-6 h-full"><span>About the book</span></span></div></div><!--]--></a></li><li><a aria-current="page" href="/blog" class="router-link-active router-link-exact-active"><!--[--><div class="group sidebar-item relative text-black font-headings text-2xl transition duration-300 px-2 xs:px-4 sm:px-6 cursor-default py-4"><div class="absolute top-0 left-0 size-full"></div><div class="relative overflow-hidden h-full"><div class="absolute right-0 top-1/2 -translate-y-1/2"><div><div class="size-2 bg-dark rounded-full"></div></div></div><span class="inline-block relative pr-6 h-full"><span>Blog</span></span></div></div><!--]--></a></li><li><a href="/a-long-and-winding-path-to-fatherhood#retailers" class=""><!--[--><button class="sidebar-item w-full transition-all cursor-pointer hover:brightness-90 font-body font-semibold disabled:hover:cursor-not-allowed inline-flex items-center justify-center rounded-full border whitespace-nowrap bg-accent border-white text-white px-6 sm:px-8 py-2.5 text-base sidebar-item w-full"><!--[-->Buy the book<!--]--></button><!--]--></a></li><!--]--></ul></div></nav><!--]--></header><!--]--></div></div></div></div><main class="relative"><div><div class="relative size-full z-container bg-primary"><div class="pt-[calc(min(5vh,5em)+3em)] lg:pt-[calc(min(5vh,5em)+5em)] pb-[min(5vh,5em)] pl-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pl-[7.5vw] lg:pl-[min(10vw,10rem)] pr-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pr-[7.5vw] lg:pr-[min(10vw,10rem)] size-full mx-auto max-w-9xl"><!--[--><div class="mx-auto max-w-4xl"><h1 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-5xl xl:text-6xl mb-6"><!--[-->The winding path of parenthood continues<!--]--></h1><div class="prose max-w-4xl font-body prose-headings:font-headings prose-headings:font-normal marker:text-accent prose-p:mb-6 prose-a:underline prose-img:mx-auto prose-img:mb-0 prose-figcaption:text-center text-lg text-light/90 prose-headings:text-light prose-strong:text-light prose-blockquote:text-light prose-a:text-light"><p>Our book takes you with us on the journey through the early years of becoming and being parents, but family life extends far beyond those early chapters. Our son continues to grow and develop, delighting and amazing us every day.</p> 2<p>We too keep growing – learning how to parent, how to be the best family of three we can be, how to balance work and family life, and how to embrace the constant need to adapt and evolve. </p> 3<p>And so we’ve decided to share some posts here about the next parenting steps as they happen. Enjoy! </p></div></div><!--]--></div></div><div class="relative size-full z-container bg-dark"><div class="py-[min(5vh,5rem)] pt-[min(5vh,5rem)] pb-[min(5vh,5em)] pl-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pl-[7.5vw] lg:pl-[min(10vw,10rem)] pr-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pr-[7.5vw] lg:pr-[min(10vw,10rem)] size-full mx-auto max-w-9xl"><!--[--><div class="mx-auto max-w-4xl"><h4 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-2xl mb-6"><!--[-->Filter by category<!--]--></h4><div class="flex flex-wrap gap-2"><!--[--><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm cursor-pointer"><!--[-->Adoption Reflections<!--]--></div><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm cursor-pointer"><!--[-->Family Life<!--]--></div><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm cursor-pointer"><!--[-->Q&A<!--]--></div><!--]--></div></div><!--]--></div></div><div class="relative size-full z-container bg-light"><div class="py-[min(5vh,5rem)] pt-[min(5vh,5rem)] pb-[min(5vh,5em)] pl-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pl-[7.5vw] lg:pl-[min(10vw,10rem)] pr-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pr-[7.5vw] lg:pr-[min(10vw,10rem)] size-full mx-auto max-w-9xl"><!--[--><div class="mx-auto max-w-4xl"><div><!--[--><article><a href="/blog/letterbox-contact-why-is-it-so-hard" class=""><div class="w-full mx-auto bg-[#FCF7EE] p-4 lg:p-6 mb-3 lg:mb-4 rounded-2xl border border-[#F0EBE3] shadow bg-dark hover:bg-primary transition-colors"><!--[--><div class="relative aspect-2/1 sm:aspect-16/9 mb-6"><img src="https://assets.netl.io/media/lucas/Letter_writing.jpeg" alt="Sheet of writing paper and 3 pens" width="1153" height="1200" loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full bg-light object-cover rounded-2xl"></div><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm mb-3"><!--[-->Adoption Reflections<!--]--></div><div><div class="group relative"><div class="mb-6"><h3 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-3xl xl:text-4xl mb-2"><!--[-->Letterbox contact: Why is it so hard?<!--]--></h3><!----><!----></div><div class="prose max-w-4xl font-body prose-headings:font-headings prose-headings:font-normal marker:text-accent prose-p:mb-6 prose-a:underline prose-img:mx-auto prose-img:mb-0 prose-figcaption:text-center text-lg text-light/90 prose-headings:text-light prose-strong:text-light prose-blockquote:text-light prose-a:text-light line-clamp-3"><p>Letterbox is a part of most people’s adoption story. It’s the system which facilitates an exchange of letters and other things like drawings, photos and cards, between adopters and birth parents, on behalf of the adopted child. It’s administered by social workers, and fully anonymised. </p> 4<p>For myself as an adoptive mum, it’s a twice-yearly commitment to write a letter and attempt to provide an update to our child’s birth family on how he’s doing, what he’s achieving, and generally that he is happy and healthy. </p> 5<p>It’s a hard letter to write. Every single time. I battle with providing reassurance that he is well loved and taken care of, while not trying to suggest we are taking better care of him than they ever could. I share milestones in his life to let them know he is growing and developing well, while appreciating that this could also serve to highlight all that they are missing to those no longer in his day-to-day life. </p> 6<p>In normal circumstances, I find it very easy to talk about my child, to tell everyone I know all about his latest foibles, games, obsessions and achievements. I am a proud parent, and share these kinds of things with almost everyone I talk to. But when it comes to sharing this information with the other people who love my child as much as we do, it enters another space.</p> 7<p>To maintain the required level of confidentiality, no locations or dates or details at all are included, and so the whole thing lacks nuance, and the personal element. This all translates into a letter which often sounds to me like I’ve written it for a child, rather than simply about one. There is no room for humour or irony – and crucially, I came to realise when I interrogated why this letter is so difficult to write – any kind of connection between the writer and recipient. We have never met, and our only common ground is a child who is no longer the infant they remember, and we never knew our growing child to be. </p> 8<p>To try and help with these letters, I have read around what birth families have said they enjoy hearing, or want to know more about. First and foremost, the consistent arrival of the letters confirms in itself that the recent news story they might have heard about the tragic accident suffered by, for example, an eight-and-a-half year old girl with red-gold hair is not their child. The prevailing thinking is that you can never say that the child is safe, well, taken care of and settled too many times, so this is something I start and end my letters with every time. In one article I read a birth mum noted that when she read the words “how are you?” in a letterbox letter she had felt that the writer really meant this as an enquiry and cared about the answer, so even though I have never met them, I made sure to include this kind of question and language in my next letter. </p> 9<p>The letters sound repetitive though. As much as daily life with our son is ever-changing, sharing six months of updates and information turns out to be both daunting in its huge scope, and hard to pinpoint things of real importance and worthy of sharing when I sit down to do it. I’ve recently started to make a note of things I think will be good to include when they happen, to make sure I don’t forget them, and to give me a headstart on the next letter – even when it’s as much as five-and-a-half months away yet. </p> 10<p>I also question myself about how much I am willing to give in these letters. Do I feel reticent to share too much, to truly share our child with them? In adoption, the fact that there are other people out there who love our child as their own as much as we do is the very starting point, and ever-present thereafter. But while they remain like shadowy, flat figures written about on forms, perhaps featuring in a few bad photos, its easier to push them to the fringes of busy fam
10ily life. Once I’m writing a letter directly to them, they move closer and into the light. They take on the full three dimensions and become parents again, wanting nothing more than to know everything they possibly can about this child. It’s hard sometimes, as an adopter, to be selfless and generous with my child. After all, he’s my child. Not only my child, but I am his loving, protective, nurturing and caring mother. Being able to share that most important of roles with someone else is not easy. </p> 11<p>By questioning myself about this though, I go back over the letters and ask myself if I could share a bit more here, bring this section alive a bit more with some further info, and try my very best to edit myself and challenge my own level of protectiveness as his parent. I’m not sure I am very successful at it, but at least I try. Maybe, just maybe, the next letter will come out sounding a bit less repetitive though, and perhaps even be a bit easier to write… </p></div></div></div><!--]--></div></a></article><article><a href="/blog/the-book-is-out-now-what" class=""><div class="w-full mx-auto bg-[#FCF7EE] p-4 lg:p-6 mb-3 lg:mb-4 rounded-2xl border border-[#F0EBE3] shadow bg-dark hover:bg-primary transition-colors"><!--[--><div class="relative aspect-2/1 sm:aspect-16/9 mb-6"><img src="https://assets.netl.io/media/lucas/Books_on_top_of_box.jpeg" alt="Copies of paperback books in packing box" width="900" height="1200" loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full bg-light object-cover rounded-2xl"></div><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm mb-3"><!--[-->Adoption Reflections<!--]--></div><div><div class="group relative"><div class="mb-6"><h3 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-3xl xl:text-4xl mb-2"><!--[-->The book is out â now what?<!--]--></h3><h4 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-2xl mb-3"><!--[-->A month has passed...<!--]--></h4><p class="text-sm sm:text-base tracking-wider uppercase font-bold font-body text-light mb-3 mb-3"><!--[-->4 Aug 2026<!--]--></p></div><div class="prose max-w-4xl font-body prose-headings:font-headings prose-headings:font-normal marker:text-accent prose-p:mb-6 prose-a:underline prose-img:mx-auto prose-img:mb-0 prose-figcaption:text-center text-lg text-light/90 prose-headings:text-light prose-strong:text-light prose-blockquote:text-light prose-a:text-light line-clamp-3"><p>Sunday 28 June 2026: the momentous date when our book, our story launched out into the big wide world! </p> 12<p>Why was it a Sunday? I don’t know, my publishers told me that was the date, generated by an automated timeline I’m sure, and despite a few minor threats of delays all the deadlines were met and out it came, right on schedule.</p> 13<p>The build-up was quite exciting. There were pre-orders by lovely friends and family across a range of booksellers – and countries too. There was the website creation and go-live, which I could then send to friends and family, and add to our social media profile. Seeing the ebook manuscript on my own Kindle and phone app was quite a moment too. </p> 14<p>Then the boxes arrived… </p> 15<p><img src="https://assets.netl.io/media/lucas/100_copies_in_boxes.jpg" alt="" width="617" height="475"></p> 16<p>Our book, right here in our hands. It was quite a moment! </p> 17<p>Watching our son pick up a copy, sit back on the sofa and flick through it was nothing short of magical. He was very concerned to make sure people knew that his name had been changed: he asked us to make sure his Grandad knew ‘about Marcus’. We assured him that everybody definitely knew this, and everybody we know who reads it will know that it’s him! </p> 18<p>Once the book was available for instant purchase, we set about sending “book launch announcement” emails to adoption agencies and support organisations. This is one of our core audiences: professionals who work in adoption, who continue their reading and research and staying up to date with adoption narratives in all formats as part of the ongoing professional development. </p> 19<p>Crucially, these individuals and their organisations also curate reading lists for wannabe adopters – the other half of our primary audience. If the agencies and organisations like it, they will recommend it, and this is definitely how we started our search when we wanted to know a bit more or felt we hadn’t read anything like this for a while. </p> 20<p>It was a shot in the dark, sending messages out into the ether, and unlike social media we didn’t get to see or hear any tangible response in the short term. This made us think hard about our next round of communications… </p> 21<p>Then the reviews started to trickle in. Friends and family told us when they’d read it, and that they loved it! I mean, of course they said nice things. They weren’t going to say tell us they thought it was rubbish, were they?! It was heartwarming to re
21ceive their comments and compliments, and to get that slow-burn feeling that our story is out in the world now, in all its guts and glory. </p> 22<p><img src="https://assets.netl.io/media/lucas/Picture7.png" alt="" width="649" height="218"></p> 23<p>As we’ve written this under pseudonyms, we aren’t having a big publicity-orientated launch campaign with parties and sales pushes. Interest in this kind of book is at best ‘niche’ and at worst very limited, so the usual advice to partner with your local bookshop and library and build a local writer profile don’t really apply. Seeing ‘only 4 copies in stock, more coming soon’ on the Amazon page was amazing. Until it moved to ‘only 5 copies in stock’, where it stayed. </p> 24<p>And then – well, nothing. </p> 25<p>It all just went quiet, only a few weeks – not even a month – after the big publication date.</p> 26<p>Writer friends tell us that this is very normal, and their experience too. After all the months of frantic and time-sensitive work, and the joy of the book being printed and prepared and ready for everyone else, it does often all go quiet for a bit. And so we take solace from this at least. In a world where we are often wondering what is ‘normal’, apparently this is. So now we will put our energies into thinking about what’s next… and our next blog post too! </p></div></div></div><!--]--></div></a></article><article><a href="/blog/authors-q-a" class=""><div class="w-full mx-auto bg-[#FCF7EE] p-4 lg:p-6 mb-3 lg:mb-4 rounded-2xl border border-[#F0EBE3] shadow bg-dark hover:bg-primary transition-colors"><!--[--><div class="relative aspect-2/1 sm:aspect-16/9 mb-6"><img src="https://assets.netl.io/media/lucas/ChatGPT_Image_Jun_2_2026_06_13_47_PM.png" alt="Q&A graphic" width="1200" height="900" loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-full bg-light object-cover rounded-2xl"></div><div class="font-body inline-flex rounded-full border font-semibold bg-accent border-accent text-light px-4 py-1.5 text-sm mb-3"><!--[-->Q&A<!--]--></div><div><div class="group relative"><div class="mb-6"><h3 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-3xl xl:text-4xl mb-2"><!--[-->Authors' Q&A<!--]--></h3><h4 class="font-headings font-normal tracking-tight text-balance text-[#FAF3DD] text-2xl mb-3"><!--[-->Get to know Eve and Rob a bit betterâ¦<!--]--></h4><!----></div><div class="prose max-w-4xl font-body prose-headings:font-headings prose-headings:font-normal marker:text-accent prose-p:mb-6 prose-a:underline prose-img:mx-auto prose-img:mb-0 prose-figcaption:text-center text-lg text-light/90 prose-headings:text-light prose-strong:text-light prose-blockquote:text-light prose-a:text-light line-clamp-3"><p>Even though we write under pen names, it’s still very much two real-life people shining through in this book and as parents to a fabulous growing boy. If you’d like to learn a bit more about us, and how things have been going since the book left us, then read on…</p> 27<h2>Why did you write this book?</h2> 28<p>Rob: It came about because people around us had so many questions about adoption, about our application, about how it actually works, and seemed really fascinated by it. We didn’t know very much when we started out, and each time we talked to someone else about it we realised how much we had learned, worked through and discovered. We would like to share that feeling with others now.</p> 29<p>Eve: It came out of reflection too, as we looked back over the last couple of years and recognised how far we had come. Writing it down, putting it all in order, re-visiting all those steps was a way of processing it all. Plus that realisation that a dad’s voice was one we had so rarely encountered, so we thought ‘why not?’.</p> 30<h2>What has been the biggest surprise / misconception about being adoptive parents so far?</h2> 31<p>Eve: That being an adoptive parent wouldn’t be as <em>physical </em>an experience as having been pregnant and given birth to our child. I thought that biology was responsible for ongoing hormonal reactions in the body as a parent, but it’s happened anyway. Our brains and bodies adapt and react to being around a child, and prioritising him. Even without a genetic tie…</p> 32<h2>What do you feel is the biggest difference between you and biological parents in your / Marcus’s friendship group?</h2> 33<p>Rob: We’ve been parents for 3 years less than all the others. Marcus’s development is exactly where it should be for his age, but as parents we are still lagging behind in some areas, like leaving him with other people for a night out together. We will get there, when we feel he’s ready. And we are too!</p> 34<h2>How do you handle telling outsiders that you are adopters? </h2> 35<p>Eve: My dentist recently commented that Marcus’s name was nice, and asked me why we chose it. I lied, which I try not to do generally, but this time I said “we just liked it” rather than the truth – which is that we didn’t have a choice. He came to us fully named and noisy and running and personality-filled. This wasn’t someone I felt the need to share more information with. In other situations, where I know the person better or I’m likely to do so in future, such as in a new job, I tend to be more upfront about it and just tell people early on. I don’t want it to be a secret, or whispered about behind my back. I’d rather just throw it out there. But Rob is still very reticent about sharing this information. Some things never change!</p></div></div></div><!--]--></div></a></article><!--]--><!----></div></div><!--]--></div></div></div></main></div><footer><div class="relative"><div class="relative bg-dark"><div class="relative size-full z-container"><div class="py-[min(5vh,5rem)] pt-[min(5vh,5rem)] pb-[min(5vh,5em)] pl-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pl-[7.5vw] lg:pl-[min(10vw,10rem)] pr-[clamp(1em,4vw,2.5em)] sm:pr-[7.5vw] lg:pr-[min(10vw,10rem)] size-full mx-auto max-w-9xl"><!--[--><div class="flex flex-col items-center justify-between lg:gap-6 lg:flex-row"><div class="lg:order-2"><!----></div><div class="mt-4 lg:order-1 lg:mt-0 text-light uppercase font-headings"><p class="text-center lg:text-start"> © Copyright Rob Lucas and Eve Lucas 2026 | Created by <a href="https://websites.troubador.co.uk" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="underline hover:text-accent transition-all"> Troubador Publishing </a> | <a href="https://netl.io" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="underline hover:text-accent transition-all"> Powered by Netlio </a></p><p class="lg:inline text-center lg:text-left hover:text-accent transition-all"><a href="/privacy-policy" class="">Privacy Policy</a></p></div></div><!--]--></div></div></div></div></footer></div><div style="display:none;" class="fixed z-fixed right-0 bottom-0 w-auto p-4"><div class="bg-primary rounded-lg border border-light/50 shadow-sm p-4 w-full sm:max-w-md"><div class="prose max-w-4xl font-body prose-headings:font-headings prose-headings:font-normal marker:text-accent prose-p:mb-6 prose-a:underline prose-img:mx-auto prose-img:mb-0 prose-figcaption:text-center text-lg text-light/90 prose-headings:text-light prose-strong:text-light prose-blockquote:text-light prose-a:text-light"><!--[--><div><p>
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