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1<title>PARK BENCH // ONTOLOGY - HOME</title><meta name="description" content="Gavin Stephens:  Comedy for a dying interface. Lo-fi ontological satire, to laugh through the collapse."/><link rel="author" href="https://gavinstephens.ca"/><meta name="author" content="Gavin Stephens"/><meta name="keywords" content="comedy,glitch,identity,standup,absurdism,philosophy"/><meta name="creator" content="Gavin Stephens"/><meta name="publisher" content="Void Comedy"/><meta name="robots" content="index, follow"/><meta name="googlebot" content="index, follow, max-video-preview:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-snippet:-1"/><link rel="canonical" href="https://gavinstephens.ca"/><meta property="og:title" content="Park Bench Ontology – Gavin Stephens"/><meta property="og:description" content="Gavin Stephens:  Comedy for a dying interface. Lo-fi ontological satire, to laugh through the collapse."/><meta property="og:url" content="https://gavinstephens.ca"/><meta property="og:image" content="https://gavinstephens.ca/api/og?title=He%20Died%20for%20a%20Bigger%20%F0%9F%8D%86.%20That%20Was%20the%20Job.&amp;episode=&amp;guest="/><meta property="og:image:width" content="1200"/><meta property="og:image:height" content="630"/><meta property="og:image:alt" content="He Died for a Bigger 🍆. That Was the Job."/><meta property="og:type" content="website"/><meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twitter:title" content="Park Bench Ontology – Gavin Stephens"/><meta name="twitter:description" content="Gavin Stephens:  Comedy for a dying interface. Lo-fi ontological satire, to laugh through the collapse."/><meta name="twitter:image" content="https://gavinstephens.ca/api/og?title=He%20Died%20for%20a%20Bigger%20%F0%9F%8D%86.%20That%20Was%20the%20Job.&amp;episode=&amp;guest="/>
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1</head><body class="overflow-x-hidden overscroll-auto"><div hidden=""><!--$--><!--/$--></div><div class="min-h-screen bg-black/30 text-white" style="opacity:0;transform:translateY(30px)"><div id="home" style="background:var(--pbo-bg);min-height:100vh"><nav class="pbo-nav"><div class="pbo-navticker"><div class="pbo-navtrack"><span class="pbo-navdot">●</span>  <!-- -->New Episode: &quot;He Died for a Bigger 🍆. That Was the Job.&quot;  ·  Live in Hamilton Oct 9  ·  Zine drop: &quot;The Revolution Will Be Commodified&quot;<!-- -->    <span class="pbo-navdot">●</span>  <!-- -->New Episode: &quot;He Died for a Bigger 🍆. That Was the Job.&quot;  ·  Live in Hamilton Oct 9  ·  Zine drop: &quot;The Revolution Will Be Commodified&quot;<!-- -->    </div></div><div class="pbo-navwrap"><a class="pbo-brand" style="text-decoration:none" href="/"><img alt="Gavin Stephens logo" width="300" height="300" decoding="async" data-nimg="1" class="animate-floatForever" style="color:transparent" srcSet="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FgavinHatSerious.png&amp;w=384&amp;q=75 1x, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FgavinHatSerious.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 2x" src="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FgavinHatSerious.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75"/><span><span class="pbo-brand-name" style="display:block">GAVIN STEPHENS</span><span class="pbo-brand-sub" style="display:block;height:16px;overflow:hidden"><span style="display:inline-block;opacity:1">comedy for a dying interface</span></span></span></a><div class="pbo-navlinks"><a href="#podcast">Podcast</a><a href="#projects">Projects</a><a href="#shows">Tour</a><a href="#zine">Zine</a><a href="#about">About</a><a href="#contact">Contact</a></div></div></nav><div class="pbo-page"><section id="podcast" class="pbo-section"><div class="pbo-kicker">Now Streaming</div><div class="pbo-hero"><div><h1>Park Bench <span class="accent">Ontology</span></h1><p>Lo-fi ontological satire, comedy of collapse, and meme-theory dread — recorded live, edited barely. New episode out now on every host site.</p><div class="pbo-playrow"><button type="button" class="pbo-playbtn" aria-label="Play episode">▶</button><div class="pbo-playmeta"><b>He Died for a Bigger 🍆. That Was the Job.</b>listen on your host of choice below</div></div><div class="pbo-hosts"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4VXk56ZMQABGFxlu6aBuUv" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Spotify</a><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/uncolonized/id698940847" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple</a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ParkBenchOntology" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">YouTube</a><a href="https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/3347012.rss" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RSS</a></div><audio src="https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/api.substack.com/feed/podcast/217556510/c78df8af1a56f82a3ad554335d4183f4.mp3" preload="metadata"></audio></div><div class="pbo-frame"><img alt="Park Bench Ontology" width="1672" height="941" decoding="async" data-nimg="1" style="color:transparent" srcSet="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FpodcastBanner.jpg&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1x, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FpodcastBanner.jpg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 2x" src="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FpodcastBanner.jpg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75"/><div class="pbo-frame-tag">Park Bench Ontology — Waveform / Bench, no text overlay</div></div></div></section><section id="shows" class="pbo-section"><div class="pbo-kicker">Live Show Dates</div><div class="pbo-tourlist"><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">01</span><span class="venue">Shawn &amp; Ed Brewing Co.</span><span class="date">Oct 9, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Hamilton<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108976828?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">02</span><span class="venue">Propeller Brewing Company - Bedford Tap Room, Cold Beer Store &amp; Drive-Thru</span><span class="date">Oct 22, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Bedford<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108964051?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">03</span><span class="venue">The Old No. 7 Restaurant &amp; Sports Bar</span><span class="date">Oct 24, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Head Of Jeddore<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108964069?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">04</span><span class="venue">Comedy Stand </span><span class="date">Oct 30, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Halifax<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108687180?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">05</span><span class="venue">Comedy Stand</span><span class="date">Oct 31, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Halifax<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108687189?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">06</span><span class="venue">Oak Manor By Burnside Brewing</span><span class="date">Nov 1, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Antigonish<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108964087?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">07</span><span class="venue">
1Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 3, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835691?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">08</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 4, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835695?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">09</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 5, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835698?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">10</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 6, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835701?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">11</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 7, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835705?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">12</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 8, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835712?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">13</span><span class="venue">Absolute Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Nov 8, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Ottawa<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835707?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">14</span><span class="venue">Cousin Vinny&#x27;s Restaurant &amp; Bar</span><span class="date">Nov 14, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Greater Sudbury<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108969407?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">15</span><span class="venue">The Boathouse</span><span class="date">Nov 21, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Kitchener<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108964125?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">16</span><span class="venue">Spotlight Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Dec 11, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->St. Catharines<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108829477?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">17</span><span class="venue">
1Spotlight Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Dec 12, 2026<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->St. Catharines<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108829480?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">18</span><span class="venue">Levity Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Jan 22, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Hamilton<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108829470?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">19</span><span class="venue">Levity Comedy Club</span><span class="date">Jan 23, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Hamilton<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108829471?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">20</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 16, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835720?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">21</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 17, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835726?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">22</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 18, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835730?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">23</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 19, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835731?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">24</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 20, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835737?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">25</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 20, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835740?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div><div class="pbo-tourrow"><span class="idx">26</span><span class="venue">Absolute Toronto</span><span class="date">Feb 21, 2027<!-- --> <!-- -->· <!-- -->Toronto<!-- -->,<!-- --> <!-- -->CA</span><a href="https://www.bandsintown.com/e/108835744?app_id=faf4d447984199c5f26bc6d7897fa9d0&amp;came_from=267&amp;utm_medium=api&amp;utm_source=public_api&amp;utm_campaign=event" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="tix">Tickets</a></div></div></section><section id="zine" class="pbo-section"><div class="pbo-kicker">From The Substack</div><div class="pbo-feature"><a target="_blank" class="pbo-featureimg" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com/s/dispatch-from-the-simulation"><img alt="Dispatch From The Simulation" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;
1color:transparent" sizes="(max-width: 860px) 100vw, 50vw" srcSet="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=384&amp;q=75 384w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w" src="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2Fdispatches-from-simulation-text.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75"/></a><div><h2>Dispatch From The Simulation</h2><p>Cultural dispatches from the edges of comedy, ideology, and existential dread — essays and ephemera from Park Bench Ontology, decoding the simulation one post at a time.</p><a target="_blank" class="pbo-link" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com">Visit the Substack →</a></div></div><div class="pbo-grid"><a target="_blank" class="pbo-card" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com/p/the-revolution-will-be-commodified"><div class="pbo-thumb"><img alt="The Revolution Will Be Commodified" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent" sizes="(max-width: 520px) 100vw, (max-width: 860px) 50vw, 33vw" srcSet="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=256&amp;q=75 256w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=384&amp;q=75 384w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w" src="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!A3Ao!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fa95365cd-ac89-4d80-b734-49888eadf8f8_1600x900.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75"/></div><span class="cat">Oct 2026</span><h3>The Revolution Will Be Commodified</h3><p>How Capitalism Absorbs Its Own Opposition</p><span class="more">Read on Substack ↗</span></a><a target="_blank" class="pbo-card" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com/p/gods-with-anuses-the-sopranos-and"><div class="pbo-thumb"><img alt="Gods With Anuses: The Sopranos and the Denial of Death" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;
1color:transparent" sizes="(max-width: 520px) 100vw, (max-width: 860px) 50vw, 33vw" srcSet="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=256&amp;q=75 256w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=384&amp;q=75 384w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w" src="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!hLBq!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F7cec60cd-23c5-4d4a-bb38-677547379bb9_2560x1706.jpeg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75"/></div><span class="cat">Sep 2026</span><h3>Gods With Anuses: The Sopranos and the Denial of Death</h3><p>Don Rickles is one of my favourite comedians.</p><span class="more">Read on Substack ↗</span></a><a target="_blank" class="pbo-card" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com/p/the-ducks-on-the-jeeps"><div class="pbo-thumb"><img alt="The Ducks on the Jeeps" loading="lazy" decoding="async" data-nimg="fill" style="position:absolute;height:100%;width:100%;left:0;top:0;right:0;bottom:0;color:transparent" sizes="(max-width: 520px) 100vw, (max-width: 860px) 50vw, 33vw" srcSet="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=256&amp;q=75 256w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=384&amp;q=75 384w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, /_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w" src="/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_!aMbw!%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fd638d01c-5132-4fe1-9cdc-47c181babbd1_1280x720.png&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75"/></div><span class="cat">Sep 2026</span><h3>The Ducks on the Jeeps</h3><p>A rubber duck on a stranger&#x27;s dashboard isn&#x27;t kindness. It&#x27;s a credit check.</p><span class="more">Read on Substack ↗</span></a></div></section><section id="about" class="pbo-section"><div class="pbo-kicker">About Gavin</div><div class="pbo-about"><img alt="Gavin Stephens on stage" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1000" decoding="async" data-nimg="1" class="pbo-aboutimg" style="color:transparent" srcSet="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FaboutPhoto.jpg&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1x, /_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FaboutPhoto.jpg&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2x" src="/_next/image?url=%2Fimages%2FaboutPhoto.jpg&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75"/><div class="pbo-aboutcopy"><p>Gavin Stephens makes <em>Park Bench Ontology</em> — stand-up, video essays, and theatre that take apart the ideological scaffolding of ordinary life and doesn&#x27;t reassemble it. Polite liberalism, market virtue, and nationalist performance art doesn&#x27;t survive contact with the material.</p><p>His art is informed by working-class Caribbean roots and his blue-collar read on the intellectual: Afro-Absurdism and Ontological Collapse, comedy that unpacks the symbol and implicates the room watching it.</p><p><em>Just for Laughs</em> once told him they wanted a Canadian Chris Rock. He said no. He wasn&#x27;t asked back. He has the résumé anyway — a Juno nomination for<!-- --> <em>All Inclusive Coma</em>, a Canadian Screen Award for writing, <em>SXSW</em>,<!-- --> <em>the Hamilton Fringe</em>, <em>the South African Comedy Festival</em>, two network specials, two solo shows (<em>Spectacular, Spectacular</em> and<!-- --> <em>Object of Strangeness</em>), <em>CBC&#x27;s LOL</em> and<!-- --> <em>The Debaters</em>, and <em>CTV&#x27;s Comedy Inc.</em> He&#x27;s a columnist for <em>CBC Hamilton</em>.</p><div class="pbo-stat"><div><b>1</b><span>Bench</span></div><div><b>0</b><span>Reassembled</span></div><div><b>1</b><span>Refusal</span></div><div><b>1</b><span>Simulation</span></div></div></div></div><div class="pbo-bio2"><div class="pbo-aboutcopy"><p>His practice runs past the stage. The <em>Art Gallery of Hamilton</em> <!-- -->commissioned him to build comedy tours of its<!-- --> <em>Metamorphosis: Visions of Antiquity in the Modern Era</em> exhibit and its Black History Month programming. He made <em>hermit-cast</em>, a location-aware weather app that generates anti-capitalist reasons to stay home or quietly quit — functional software as ideological object.</p></div><div class="pbo-aboutcopy"><p>He&#x27;s developing <em>The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth</em>, a documentary on nerd culture as political identity: an escape from freedom, a community built equally on belonging and gatekeeping.</p><p>Essays at<!-- --> <a target="_blank" href="https://parkbenchontology.substack.com">parkbenchontology.substack.com</a>.</p></div></div><p class="pbo-pull">If it can&#x27;t be questioned, <span class="accent">it can&#x27;t be funny.</span></p><div class="pbo-press"><a href="../assets/Gavin_Stephens_Press_Kit_2026.pdf" download="" aria-label="Download Gavin Stephens Press Bio PDF">Download PDF Bio</a><a href="https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZRbBUWwYVn31Q7s99" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" aria-label="Gavin Stephens Promo Photos">Download Photos</a></div></section><section id="contact" class="pbo-section"><div class="pbo-kicker">Enter The Void</div><div class="pbo-contact"><form class="pbo-contactcol"><h3>Join The Void</h3><input type="email" placeholder="[email protected]" class="pbo-input" required="" value=""/><p class="pbo-note">No spam, just the void. 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1<script>self.__next_f.push([1,"\u003cp\u003eAn influencer died from a penis-enlargement injection and was buried in a gold coffin reportedly worth three-quarters of a million dollars. My first reaction was a joke about it. That reaction is what this video is about.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat’s in here:\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* Why “man dies for vanity” works as a causal amputation, cutting the death off from every cause except the man\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* The hamburger math: why your employer maintains the fryer on the company’s dime and you maintain yourself on your own\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* How the gig economy replaces the wage with engagement without getting rid of the boss\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* A fight with my mother about whether work is coercive, and why I’m not smarter than her, just a beat later\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e* Why the gold coffin reads as vanity but is actually labour, and why his death fed the cycle instead of interrupting it\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAbout Park Bench OntologyPark Bench Ontology is a comedy and ideas show hosted by Juno-nominated comedian and Canadian Screen Award-winning writer Gavin Stephens. It takes the feeling that the world is getting weirder and tries to name it without bullshitting you. Equal parts philosophy, stand-up, and cultural diagnosis, delivered from a park bench with nowhere to be.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eReferenced📎 Jean Baudrillard, For a Critique of the Political Economy of the Sign (sign value)📎 Karl Marx, Capital, Vol. 1 (labour power, surplus value)📎 Theodor Adorno \u0026 Max Horkheimer, Dialectic of Enlightenment (the culture industry)📎 Wayne Brekhus, “A Sociology of the Unmarked” (the unmarked position)\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWelcome to the Collapse.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cbr/\u003e\u003cbr/\u003eThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit \u003ca href=\"https://parkbenchontology.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast\u0026#38;utm_campaign=CTA_1\"\u003eparkbenchontology.substack.com\u003c/a\u003e"])</script>
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1<script>self.__next_f.push([1,"An influencer died from a penis-enlargement injection and was buried in a gold coffin reportedly worth three-quarters of a million dollars. My first reaction was a joke about it. That reaction is what this video is about.\nWhat’s in here:\n* Why “man dies for vanity” works as a causal amputation, cutting the death off from every cause except the man\n* The hamburger math: why your employer maintains the fryer on the company’s dime and you maintain yourself on your own\n* How the gig economy replaces the wage with engagement without getting rid of the boss\n* A fight with my mother about whether work is coercive, and why I’m not smarter than her, just a beat later\n* Why the gold coffin reads as vanity but is actually labour, and why his death fed the cycle instead of interrupting it\nAbout Park Bench OntologyPark Bench Ontology is a comedy and ideas show hosted by Juno-nominated comedian and Canadian Screen Award-winning writer Gavin Stephens. It takes the feeling that the world is getting weirder and tries to name it without bullshitting you. Equal parts philosophy, stand-up, and cultural diagnosis, delivered from a park bench with nowhere to be.\n\nReferenced📎 Jean Baudrillard, For a Critique of the Political Economy of the Sign (sign value)📎 Karl Marx, Capital, Vol. 1 (labour power, surplus value)📎 Theodor Adorno \u0026 Max Horkheimer, Dialectic of Enlightenment (the culture industry)📎 Wayne Brekhus, “A Sociology of the Unmarked” (the unmarked position)\nWelcome to the Collapse.\n\n\n \nThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit parkbenchontology.substack.com"])</script>
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1<script>self.__next_f.push([1,"An influencer died from a penis-enlargement injection and was buried in a gold coffin reportedly worth three-quarters of a million dollars. My first reaction was a joke about it. That reaction is what this video is about.What’s in here:* Why “man dies for vanity” works as a causal amputation, cutting the death off from every cause except the man* The hamburger math: why your employer maintains the fryer on the company’s dime and you maintain yourself on your own* How the gig economy replaces the wage with engagement without getting rid of the boss* A fight with my mother about whether work is coercive, and why I’m not smarter than her, just a beat later* Why the gold coffin reads as vanity but is actually labour, and why his death fed the cycle instead of interrupting itAbout Park Bench OntologyPark Bench Ontology is a comedy and ideas show hosted by Juno-nominated comedian and Canadian Screen Award-winning writer Gavin Stephens. It takes the feeling that the world is getting weirder and tries to name it without bullshitting you. Equal parts philosophy, stand-up, and cultural diagnosis, delivered from a park bench with nowhere to be.Referenced📎 Jean Baudrillard, For a Critique of the Political Economy of the Sign (sign value)📎 Karl Marx, Capital, Vol. 1 (labour power, surplus value)📎 Theodor Adorno \u0026 Max Horkheimer, Dialectic of Enlightenment (the culture industry)📎 Wayne Brekhus, “A Sociology of the Unmarked” (the unmarked position)Welcome to the Collapse. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit parkbenchontology.substack.com"])</script>
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